Star Gazing, Moon Singing
by Lossien
Summary: Two sisters attend Hogwarts, and something tragic happens to one. She returns years later to meet old friends and finds that things have changed in her absence... R
1. The train ride and the dare

Alright. A long time ago, I wrote a very interesting and very n00bish fanfic with my sister. Eventually, she copped out and I was left with a not-so-great fanfic and no co-writer. In the third chapter I switched everything up and tried to make it work. It didn't. Now, I have gone back to the first two chapters, compressed and expanded them, fixed mistakes, and am re-posting them. Still in the same story, though. I apologize for the horrible spelling and grammar of the last first two chapters.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter blah blah blah Draco's an idiot blah blah blah

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Stephanie smoothed her brown hair and held onto her little sister Amanda's hand, who was trying to squirm away. She was saying goodbye to her parents for another year as she and her sister boarded the train for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Although it was Stephanie's third year, it was only Amanda's first.

"Bye Mom! Bye Dad! We'll see you at Christmas!" Stephanie called and dragged her sister onto the train a few minutes before it was going to leave.

"I don't see why we have to get on so early." Amanda said. She was grouchy about being woken up early and she didn't want to leave her parents any earlier than she had to. That small disadvantage was offset by the fact that she was going to learn how to be a witch, so the moodiness was short-lived. Stephanie moved about the train until she found the compartment she had told her friends she would meet them in. She heard them through the window then, yelling something about toilet seats and then they boarded the train. She poked her head out.

"Fred! George! I'm here!" She yelled down the way. They came in, their brother and a friend trailing after them. "This is my sister, Amanda. She's a first year." Stephanie said, by way of introduction.

"This is Ron and his friend Harry, they're first years too." Fred replied.

"Perfect! Amanda! Go with them then, and I'll see you after the tasks and once you're sorted." Stephanie said and gave her sister a shove before shutting the door on her, leaving her to her own devices.

Stephanie had just reached into her pack to grab some food when Amanda stuck her head in again, telling her sister that she was off to find another compartment.

"Sure, sure, whatever." Stephanie replied to the already shut door. "Alright, I brought apples, cheese sticks, a peanut butter sandwich and some crackers. You guys?"

"Corned beef sandwiches. Oh, and we snuck some sugar. Pure sugar." George said and took out the objects as he named them. The sugar was in a small pouch. They poured the sugar on everything, apples, cheese, and sandwiches. By the time the snack cart rolled around they were quite energetic.

Stephanie loaded up with sweets, muttering about how sugar always makes her hyper.

"I love how it does that!" Fred exclaimed.

"Y'know, it's not really sugar. It's more the psychology, and what we've been taught." Stephanie said philosophically.

"I don't care," he replied. "I still get hyper from it!"

Just then, Stephanie realized that she still had to give Amanda some of the money their mum had given them for the trip. She decided to just not give her sister any.

"She won't notice." Stephanie mumbled to herself.

"You better believe that I'll notice," Amanda's voice came from the doorway. "And I swear, mum gave US that money, and then you turn around and..." She went on and on in a big long lecture. Finally Stephanie simply handed her young sister the money and rolled her brown eyes at Fred and George. Amanda then started on an even longer lecture about not rolling your eyes. Eventually Stephanie pointed out that the snack trolley was disappearing down the corridor. Amanda ran out of the compartment without a word, her mind focused solely on the food on the snack cart. This time when Stephanie shut the door, she locked it.

"Now, have either of you two continued research over the summer?" Stephanie asked the red-headed twins. The mood turned somewhat serious.

"Of course!" Fred replied, his crooked smile widening slightly. He took out a list and handed it to Stephanie.

"Exactly what I found!" She exclaimed excitedly, before grinning sheepishly. "I mean, Excellent! It's conclusive with my findings!" She grabbed a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and deftly smoothed it. It was when all three of them were reading the list over when they all realized that the lists were practically identical. In celebration, they dug into the sweets and sugar, becoming more and more energetic.

At last, to overcome their hyped-up boredom, they turned to truth or dare.

"George! Truth or dare!" Stephanie called rather loudly, earning her a hush from George and a light swat from Fred.

"Hmm… Dare!" Fred called.

"Okay…" Stephanie paused, placing her forefinger and thumb on her chin and stroking it, thinking dramatically. After a few giggles, she stopped. "I dare you to go find my sister's compartment, saddle yourself up to the window and then…"

"Then what?" George asked, having no clue where Stephanie's current thought pattern lay. If he had, he might not have been so eager to hear the rest of the dare.

"Moon her and her compartment!"

"Okay!" Then again, he might have been every bit as eager.

They took off down the hall, all three trying to be inconspicuous and appear innocent to the passer's by. They looked carefully into each window until they found the one with Stephanie's sister in it and a few other first years. George actually had to stand on Fred's back so that his bum could reach the window into the small room where the girls were.

Quick as you wish, he dropped his pants, wriggled his shinning white arse in full view of Amanda and her friends, then ran like hell, pulling up his trousers, the other two trailing behind him.

The screams merely spurred them on.

They locked the door behind them again and fell onto the seats laughing like madmen. When he calmed down enough, George asked Stephanie 'truth or dare'.

"Dare," she replied and took a deep breath, onto to dissolve into giggles again.

"I dare you t-"

"Hush!" Stephanie commanded. She put her finger to her lips, signaling silence as they strained their ears.

They heard some soft giggling, and a whispered 'alohamora', a charm Stephanie had foolishly taught her sister a summer ago. She had regretted it three times since then. Once, when Amanda had found Stephanie's diary, the second time when Amanda had been able to free herself from what Stephanie thought was 'fitting punishment for reading that!' The third time was when her little sister had undone the lock on her school chest and stolen spell books to learn other spells.

The door to the compartment opened, allowing a red-faced first year to walk in. Too bad she didn't have a badge yet, or she would have been easier to remember later, Stephanie thought somewhat cruely to herself. Blackmail was an excellent resource.

"G-George?" The girl asked, her face turning slightly more red.

Quick as pie, Fred looked up, as if he himself were named George and not his brother. Stephanie looked down at the floor to keep from laughing, then looked back at the girl.

Hesitating slightly, she walked over to him and kissed him lightly on the cheek, then ran out of the room and back to her support of the other first years. Stephanie heard the distinct tone of her sister's voice and finally couldn't hold it in. She and George burst out laughing.

"Okay. So. Stephanie." George finally had control of himself. "I dare you to kiss Fred."

Stephanie leaned towards George in a joke, and that set them all off again. Once they could breathe somewhat normally, Stephanie leaned right across to Fred and kissed him right on the lips. She pulled back somewhat quickly, and put a hand to her mouth, all trace of the giggles gone.

"What?" George asked. Fred was looking at her intently.

"That was… was my first kiss…" she replied. Fred blushed and Stephanie looked away.

"Hey, it was Fred's too. No big deal." Fred went even more red at his brother's words. "C'mon, Stephanie, it's your turn."

"Uh, fine. Ah, George, truth or dare."

"Hey! I just did you! No fair!" He pouted slightly.

"Well, you wanted me to go so badly, so pick one." Stephanie crossed her arms across her chest in triumph.

"Dare." Typical. In two years, she could not remember anyone picking truth more than once. Ever.

"Fine. I dare _you_ to kiss Fred." She smiled evilly.

"What am I, your harem?" Fred asked. He did not particularly enjoy being the object of other people's dares.

"Ew! We're brothers!"

"Him or Snape, you choose." Stephanie smirked all out, now. She had him trapped. With every dare, the person taking it had a choice of taking a 'chicken', instead. That way, if the dare were truly vile he or she didn't have to complete it and could easily do something else. Early on, Stephanie, Fred and George had decided that the best thing to discourage them from taking a chicken was to make it something horrible. Therefore, they had made it the chicken to kiss Professor Snape, their most hated Slytherin teacher.

George snarled slightly and quickly pecked his brother on the cheek.

"Cheap!" Stephanie called as George sat back down in his seat.

"You didn't specify," George pointed out and stuck out his tongue. "It's my turn. Stephanie chose truth or dare."

"Dare," she replied without hesitation.

"I dare you to moon Fred."

Stephanie smiled, starting at the button of her pants. The joke was on George, she thought. Anticipating this situation, she had put on very opaque and cute bear panties.

"No underwea-"

"WHAT?"

"I said-"

"I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID!" Stephanie did up her pants with dignity and sat back down. "I choose chicken." She replied, instead.

"You can't-"

"Coward! You don't-"

"I'm a thirteen year old girl! Merlin! You're practically asking me to become a-"

"But I do it!"

"You're a guy! Guy's are built differently! I'd rather kiss Snape."

Stephanie sat and fumed, the boys sat in relative silence for most of the trip. Towards the end, Stephanie broke down a little.

"I am so not looking forwards to this…"

And so the teasing started as they loaded off the train and into the carriages with the weird horses. They were on their way to the great hall, and Stephanie was finally getting excited to see her sister sorted.

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Okay, so quite a few major changes were made. I explained a bit more, and took a few things out that I think only made it implausible or confusing. I keep forgetting that they're only in third year! My goodness, they're thirteen and fourteen. I just turned 18. Hard to think back so long…

Anyways. Her duel will change. It will not be with Draco, and if you noticed, I changed who Amanda was with on the train. Makes more sense to the original characters this way.

Also, yes! Stephanie CAN ALREADY see the horses. She has already witnessed death. Please ignore an edit error in chap 3 until I fix it because of this change.

And remember: Almost everything will be explained in due time.

Next up: A revision of Chapter 2 and Stephanie kisses Snape!


	2. Tradgedy strikes

**Yay! I edited the second chapter! As you'll notice here, the actual thing happens, not just a detention, and now everything should make a little more sense. Hope you like it, please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: I really own Harry Potter, but the Jess's infiltrated the Stephanie compound and sold them to an anonymous aspiring writer who became famous in my place! Alas! My life is but a tragedy/smacks you in the head/ Of course I don't own Harry Potter! Do you think I'd be writing this fanfic if I did? NO! I'd be writing the sixth book. Instead, I sit here, all alone with my computer and write fanfics for my fans. At least, I think I have a few.

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**Stephanie was bored. She sat at the Gryffindor tabled, her back straight, eyes ahead, the perfect image of attention. However; she was bored out of her skull. She relived a brief moment of amusement remembering her explanation to her sister of the tasks.**

_Amanda sat carefully on the edge of her sister's bed, the summery sunlight turned blue as it danced through billowing curtains. She wrung her hands in her lap, nervous and apprehensive. Her older sister was explaining how they chose houses for the school that Amanda would be attending in the fall._

_"It's quite a bit of work, you realize," Stephanie, Amanda's sister, started. "The first thing they do is take you to a small room and cram all the first years in. Then, they seal off all of the walls and make you find a way out. Now, normally this wouldn't be too hard, but if you're in there for more than two minutes, then…" She trailed off dramatically._

_"Then what?" Amanda asked, saying exactly what her sister had expected._

_"They send the ghosts in."_

_Amanda shivered._

_"The ghosts have long, sharp swords that will cut through anything, metal or wood, so be careful. Once you're out of the room, you have to face a mountain giant. Be careful, their clubs can split a tree in half. After that, you'll enter the Great Hall. This is the final test. There, on a stool, you'll see an innocent enough looking hat. However! This hat will cause immense pain when placed on one's head. Watch out, and be wary."_

_"Is that everything?" Amanda asked eyes wide._

_"That's all we're allowed to say."_

**It had been a great day for Stephanie, and she thought over a few of the finer points before her sister was finally sorted into Gryffindor. Bloody hat took its time sorting her, too.**

**More boredom followed for Stephanie until the last first year was sorted. Dumbledore stood up, then, and recited his usual first day speech, with a new corridor reported as off-limits. Stephanie looked over at Fred and George and they all smiled, knowing what they would soon look into.**

**A few nonsense words later and Stephanie dug into the food, while being verbally harassed by her younger sister for the lies she had told. Fred and George's younger brother also said something about being lied to, which prompted Amanda to ask what about.**

**"Trolls. They told me we had to fight trolls," he replied, then went back to a conversation with a black-haired boy.**

**Amanda turned to some other first years closer to her and Stephanie turned to the twins. They all burst out laughing and started re-telling the tales to each other that they had told their siblings.**

**When the food was finished and the tables cleared, Stephanie got her timetable and compared it with Fred and Georges. They still had all of the same classes, starting with potions first thing in morning, the next day. Stephanie tried to forget the dare that she had narrowly escaped and the punishment thereof, but Fred and George were only too happy to remind her. She pouted until they all dissolved into giggles again.**

**They trailed off to the Gryffindor common room with the rest of the third years. The portrait swung open as someone mumbled the password, and they all straggled in. Stephanie made a mad dash to the girl's dormitories to claim her usual bed and then walked calmly back down the stairs. She sat on 'the couch', the couch were she, Fred, George, and Lee did all of their plotting and scheming. It was where they did most of their experiments, and where they liked to simply sit and rest. In short, it was their hang out spot.**

**Fred, George and Lee claimed their own beds before coming back downstairs to join Stephanie on the couch.**

**"Hey, Lee," Stephanie asked. "How was your summer?" He smiled and told her in great detail about all the boring work he had done.**

**"Oh, man, that's nothing. I had to clean our basement AND we live in a muggle house now. We moved. It's kind of funny, really. None of them seem to notice the magic." Stephanie replied and smiled.**

**"Don't yer mum work with computers or summat?" One of the other third years asked.**

**"Yeah, she does." Stephanie said. A first year looked very interested and came over to their couch. He looked just about ready to ask Stephanie a question when she suddenly turned to him. "If you don't know what a computer is, you were obviously wizard-raised. The only person I answer endless questions to is Mr. Weasley, and you are sorely lacking red hair and a bit of height, so no, I will not answer your questions."**

**At that moment in time, Stephanie's sister walked through the portrait with Percy Weasley and a gaggle of other first years. Stephanie waved at her.**

**"Oi! Amanda! Have you picked a bed yet? The best ones are next to the windows."**

**"That's the one I always chose," Fred joined in.**

**Amanda looked startled; as if she thought someone else might steal her bed, and raced upstairs to claim one. Stephanie reached into her pocket when she realized that she was sitting on something, momentarily forgetting what it was. She pulled it out to see cheese and crackers, noticing the pleading look that Fred gave her.**

**She smiled evilly, stuck her tongue out, and walked up to the girls' dormitories.**

**"Oi! Wait a second!" Fred called and ran after Stephanie. She was halfway up the stairs when he stepped on the first one. Stephanie had turned to stick her tongue out at him again, but balked when the stairs turned into a slide. She swore loudly as she started sliding down and bowled Fred over. They ended up with Fred flat on his back, Stephanie sitting on his chest. It took her a moment to realize that he was staring at something, then another moment to realize what it was.**

**She quickly stood up and straitened her skirt, thankful again for the solid bear panties, then turned to go up the stairs again.**

**"Wait!" Fred called. Stephanie turned, unsure as to what would happen next. "Could I..." he said, then faltered. "Could... umm... we're meeting tomorrow evening, at dinner time. No one will miss us then." She nodded and started back up the stairs. "Wait!" He called again. She turned again. "Ermm... goodnight. See you in the morning." Smiling, she bade him goodnight and went to her room.**

**Stephanie took quite a while to get to sleep, a usual occurrence, but she still wondered what Fred had wanted to say. He had obviously started to say something, then change his mind. Eventually, she fell asleep. Her dreams took on a fanciful quality with unicorns and ghosts. Unfortunately, something pricked at the back of her neck and forced her wide awake at three in the morning.**

**The kind of wide-awake where there is no hope for sleep the rest of the night.**

**She rose from her bed and draped the coverlet about herself as a cape, a shield from the cold of a castle, even in September. She was still wearing her school uniform, having been too lazy to change into pajamas before falling asleep. She made her way down to the common room, surprised to see two red heads conversing by the fire.**

**Fred and George were deep in conversation, but stopped suddenly when they noticed her. If she had been a little more awake, or if it had been later in the day, she might have noticed that this was a sure sign that they had been talking about her. In this case, however, she didn't notice, and instead sat down between them.**

**"Hey" George said and Fred blushed. Stephanie couldn't be sure if the blush was real or imagined, the firelight giving off red and orange glows. "The first quidditch practice is this weekend," George continued. "Are you going to come?"**

**"Of course!" Stephanie replied. "I am your official unofficial cheerleader, am I not?" They smiled and nodded. "So what were you two so deep in conversation a moment ago about?"**

**This time, Stephanie was positive that Fred blushed.**

**"Just planning the next prank. Fred couldn't sleep, so he dragged me out of bed." George said, then smiled at Stephanie, who smiled back. Just then, her blanket slipped, and she spent a few moments getting it wrapped around herself again for her liking. Therefore, she completely missed the look that George gave Fred over her head. She looked over when George sighed.**

**He stood up, stretching, and started leaving.**

**"Anyways, I'm going back to bed. You two might be able to function on no sleep, but I can't." He then left Fred and Stephanie alone by the comfortable chair and warm fire.**

**Silence was left in his wake, but only a nice silence that sometimes appears between two good friends. With that comfort and the warmth of the blanket and fire, Stephanie was soon about to fall asleep. Her earlier awake-ness had been abandoned in the fiery glow. Before she knew it, she was asleep. A little later, she woke up again, only to be aware that her head was on someone's lap, and then she drifted off to sleep until the morning.**

**When she woke up, she sat up partway and yawned. It was then that she noticed the person she had laid her head on was rubbing their neck and also waking up. It had been Fred.**

**"Thanks for the pillow," Stephanie replied, a little shy.**

**"You're welcome." He reddened and then stretched a bit. Stephanie rubbed her eyes and sat up fully. Few people were wandering the common room this early, although Stephanie did notice someone. He caught her eye and gave her a wink. Stephanie replied with a funny look and the boy looked pointedly from her to Fred. She opened her eyes wide.**

**"Lee!" She exclaimed. The boy grinned widely as he walked over to their couch. "Nothing happened!"**

**"Sure, sure." He replied. "That's why your head was on his lap and Fred kissed you."**

**"He what?" Stephanie whirled and looked at Fred, who was decidedly red.**

**"Yeah, 'bout half an hour ago. He woke up, looked at you, kissed your forehead, then went back to sleep."**

**"What? But why would he... I mean, I... but... why... wha-?" She looked back to Lee, then Fred again. A question was trying to form on her lips.**

**"It was nothing," Fred said hurryingly. "I was still half asleep. In fact, I don't really remember doing it. Musta been a dream." He cocked a grin, and it struck Stephanie at that moment that he had the most adorable crooked smile. She pushed the thought away and agreed with him, yes, it must have been a dream. Either that, or she would be forced to look at something that would change their friendship. Stephanie was of the belief that neither she nor Fred was ready for that yet.**

**Stephanie gathered up her blanket and headed to her room, changing into a uniform and meeting her sister on her way down.**

**"Amanda! Good morning, sleepyhead. How was your night?"**

**"Horrible! Stupid houselves woke me up in the middle of the night when they were cleaning, and then I couldn't get back to sleep. At three, I did, and then some stupid girl woke me up twice this morning. Twice!"**

**"Shouldn't you have gotten up the first time?" Stephanie replied to her sister's whining.**

**"Oh, right, because seven is a decent hour to be up." Sarcasm was practically dripping from Amanda's mouth.**

**"When you're at school, it is. They have these things, called classes."**

**"Shut up! You're not my mother! I can get up when I want to."**

**"Yeah, because missing classes won't get you a howler."**

**"Shut up!" Amanda stalked back to her dormitory and Stephanie ran off to the great hall to eat breakfast.**

**Once there, she met up with Fred, George and Lee, digging into the bacon and eggs. Stephanie sat down as the morning post came, bringing a letter from her mother and a sock she had left at home. The letter asked the usual business, how was the trip, was Stephanie and Amanda okay, how were their schedules. Stephanie put the letter in her pocket, intent on giving it to her sister later in the day. She fed the barn owl Sharpe, a bit of food from her plate before sending it up to the owlry.**

**Stephanie turned to Fred and George on her left as she finished, with Lee across the table.**

**"Is everything set for today?" She asked, referring to a prank they had set up to happen after their first class. It was set for the Slytherin quidditch team captain.**

**"Yes," Fred replied. "Except that-"**

**"Except?" Lee interjected. "That means that everything isn't ready."**

**"The only thing is that we need an alibi." George said.**

**"That's great," Stephanie replied sarcastically. "Lucky for us, I came up with a spare one."**

**"What is it?"**

**"Well, my younger sister is not the most agreeable person, and has transfiguration first with the Slytherins. Now, there happens to be a certain Malfoy in that class who she will take an instant dislike to, I am certain. After her class, and in the middle of our potions class, she will pick a fight with him somewhere near professor Snape's class. A Slytherin will doubtless run in to get Snape, which will leave us with three things. No teacher, an opportunity, and an alibi."**

**"Okay, I see no teacher and an opportunity, but I don't see the alibi." Lee pointed out.**

**"Easy enough." Stephanie replied. "Fred or George will be there, taking bets. No one can tell the difference between them, and if one moves fast enough, it'll be like they're both there. Everyone will assume that they saw me, because it was my sister fighting. Lee, if people see you, they can't forget you. Everyone knows that we travel as a group, as well. Also, if one of the twins and I show up later, then people won't remember when we showed up."**

**"Excellent," Lee said, clapping. "You think like I do." At that moment in time, Snape walked past them, sneering and looking pointedly at the clock. They all looked innocent before realizing what Snape was referring to. They would all have to run if they were to make it on time to potions.**

**They took off from the great hall and raced towards the dungeon, happy knowing that they would beat Snape, if no one else. They ran down past the first years leaving their class, and into the potions classroom. There, they were surprised to see, stood Snape at the front of the class. They meekly took their places and put the required books onto their desks.**

**Snape began the lesson and had them writing a test in a few moments. Stephanie was the first to finish her test, even if a third of the answers were incorrect, and se stood up to hand them in. Fred and George gave her a look, reminding her of the kiss she owed Snape. 'of course,' she thought to herself, 'they'd remind me of that.' She rolled her eyes and mouthed that she knew, before walking to the front of the classroom to hand her test in.**

**"Uh, professor Snape, sir…" Stephanie paused, not quite sure how to go about it.**

**"What?" He asked with a slight snarl.**

**"Oh, sir, have I ever told you that I-"**

**He held out his hand.**

**"Sir?" Stephanie asked, perplexed.**

**"Your test, Stephanie." Snape replied, with a full snarl this time.**

**"Oh, right." She handed it in and opened her mouth, hoping that some excuse to kiss the vile thing would come out of her mouth.**

**Just then, a student burst in through the door, his breathing heavy and a worried look on his face.**

**"Professor Snape, sir! Students dueling in the hallway!" the young boy panted.**

**"What? Where! Who?" Snape asked, standing at his desk and walking around it and towards the student.**

**"Right down the hall, a Slytherin and Gryffindor first year. Something went wrong, sir."**

**"You!" He pointed to a Slytherin student in the back. "Run and get Madame Pomfrey. You," this time he pointed to a Gryffindor near the front, as the other student rushed from the room. "Make sure everyone else finishes their test. No cheating. The rest of you, after the test, read pages three to twenty nine in your textbooks, with a twelve inch essay on the uses of wolfs bane due next class." He pointed his wand at the board and the homework appeared.**

**"Perfect timing," Stephanie said to Fred as she had already returned to her seat. They acted normal as Snape passed, but something caught their ears. Something that made them stop.**

**"I think she's dead, sir. I think her wand backfired."**

**Stephanie didn't move. She couldn't. Her breaths came in short gasps, and the only sound she could hear was her own breathing. She was aware of the chair digging into her legs, and the cold floor against the worn spot of her left shoe, but they didn't matter. She blinked a couple of times and looked over at Fred, her face white with freckles more obvious.**

**"He's overreacting, she's probably just stunned," George said. Stephanie nodded.**

**"All the same, can we go by on our way?" She asked. She and George were the ones pulling the prank, Fred and Lee would man the event.**

**All four of them raced out of the classroom, ignoring their year mate's protests and heading the way they had seen Snape walk hurriedly down.**

**They slowed as they turned a corner, whispering the only sound they could hear. Something was dead wrong. At duels people yelled and shouted, urging others on. When someone was hurt, they were hushed for a little while, and then got louder when the ref said everything was okay.**

**They witnessed Madame Pomfrey run through the crowd and fall to her knees next to a small first year. She checked the pulse and then quickly levitated the body and took off towards the infirmary. She didn't tell everyone that they young girl would be okay.**

**She did not say that Amanda would be okay.**

**Stephanie missed the look that was given to Snape, missed him turning to head back to his class to find her and tell her something.**

**She was in shock.**

**There had been no okay.**

**Snape was surprised to see her in the hallway, but thought better of scolding her at such a time. He took her off to the side and said something to her as her friends waited impatiently for her to return. They watched as she nodded to him, and he said something else. She shook her head, and he placed his hand awkwardly on her shoulder. She shook him off and turned away. All that Snape did, instead of getting angry, was to nod and walk away.**

**Fred, George and Lee rushed over to her.**

**"Are you okay?" Lee asked with concern in his voice.**

**Stephanie nodded.**

**"Need anything?" George asked.**

**Stephanie shook her head. She reached into her pocket and took out a letter, staring at it dumbly.**

**Fred looked at her, and slowly, she looked up at him.**

_They were sitting at the kitchen table, eating a lunch of BLT sandwiches and carrots when Stephanie got her letter. The family owl had dropped it right in front of her, and she stared at it, unbelieving._

"_Oh darling," her mother said and watched happily as her eldest daughter opened it up. After Stephanie had read and re-read it, she handed it to her mother to read. It was then that her little sister Amanda came up to her. Only eight years old, she was full of smiles and mischievousness. This time, however, the look in her eyes was serious._

"_Stephie, when you go to Hogwarts, you'll come back, right?" She sounded so serious and worried._

"_Of course I'll come back, stupid. I live here."_

**Suddenly, she fell into Fred and a cry tore from the back of her throat. Her body shook as he tried to comfort her without the knowledge of how.**

_Amanda sat carefully on the edge of her sister's bed, wringing her hands in her lap, nervous and apprehensive. Stephanie was explaining how they chose houses for Hogwarts, as Amanda's first year was in the fall._

_"It's quite a bit of work, you realize," Stephanie started. "The first thing they do is take you to a small room and cram all the first years in. Then, they seal off all of the walls and make you find a way out. Now, normally this wouldn't be too hard, but if you're in there for more than two minutes, then…" She trailed off dramatically._

_"Then what?" Amanda asked, saying exactly what her sister had expected._

_"They send the ghosts in."_

_Amanda shivered._

_"The ghosts have long, sharp swords that will cut through anything, metal or wood, so be careful. Once you're out of the room, you have to face a mountain giant. Be careful, their clubs can split a tree in half. After that, you'll enter the Great Hall. This is the final test. There, on a stool, you'll see an innocent enough looking hat. However! This hat will cause immense pain when placed on one's head. Watch out, and be wary."_

_"Is that everything?" Amanda asked eyes wide._

"_That's all we're allowed to say."_

**She was silent, the only noise now was the intake of breath as she gasped, choking in her silent tears.**

"_Amanda! Good morning, sleepyhead. How was your night?"_

"_Horrible! Stupid houselves woke me up in the middle of the night when they were cleaning, and then I couldn't get back to sleep. At three, I did, and then some stupid girl woke me up twice this morning. Twice!"_

"_Shouldn't you have gotten up the first time?" Stephanie replied to her sister's whining._

"_Oh, right, because seven is a decent hour to be up." Sarcasm was practically dripping from Amanda's mouth._

"_When you're at school, it is. They have these things, called classes."_

"_Shut up! You're not my mother! I can get up when I want to."_

"_Yeah, because missing classes won't get you a howler."_

"_Shut up!"_

**She slid down to her knees, her hands resting useless in her lap as her grief broke through another barrier and all she kept repeating was 'dead, dead, dead' through a torrent of tears.**

**Her sister was dead.**


	3. Our real story begins

Author: ARGG:pulls out chibi-killstick and chases sister around room with it: YOU LIL:Notices readers: Oh! Hey... all of you... umm... yeah, so... my sister copped out on me. Pooh on her. Because of that, I am saying that she died at the duel from her wand backlashing and that it is Stephanie's seventh year, the time of the 5th Harry Potter book, Order of the Phoenix. She has finally gotten over her sister's death. Okies? Okies! (Yes, I am copping out as well, but I don't care). Also, some things might be confusing or not make any sense, but they will either be explained at the end of this chapter or in later chapters. Enjoy! 

Disclaimer:I do not own Harry Potter... only a few souls here and there.

-

A time for celebration, a time to be happy. Her seventh year, and Stephanie was finally returning to Hogwarts. She had attended a different school, one that wouldn't hold so many memories. She figured she was ready for it now, in her last year. She hadn't seen or talked to any of her friends for five years, almost, other than the occasional 'Happy Christmas' or 'Congratulation' owls at random intervals.

She stood at the platform and watched as hundreds of students piled onto the train, calling out to friends and enemies, taunting and teasing, happily. She twirled some of her brown hair around her finger, chewing her lower lip in thought. It was like the first time she ever took the train.

She gripped the handle of her trunk tightly and stepped into the train, her eyes searching. She moved down the aisle until she found a compartment with some redheads in it. Knocking tentativly on the door, she prepared herself for the worse.

"Hullo?" Someone said as they opened the doors. Stephanie was shocked. There was a tall, lithe young redhead infront of her, quite good looking and quite sure of himself.

"Oh... sorry, I thought you were someone else..." Stephanie said, thinking she had the wrong person. She dodn't recognise who was infront of her.

"Who are you looking for?" They asked.

"Well, I wanted to surprise them, but I can't find them. Do you know Fred and George Weasley?" She asked, again chewing her bottom lip.

"Fred and George?" They asked, a smile playing about their lips.

"Yes, I can't... I can't find them." Stephanie was near tears, frustration mounting at not being able to find her old friends, starting to regret her decision to return.

"I'm Fred."

Stephanie looked up right away. "Wh-... I-... You're so... I di-..." She gave up trying to speak and smiled as she hugged him tightly.

"Woah..." he replied, obviously not recognizing her and unsure of what to do.

"Fred! It's me! Stephanie! I'm back!"

With that, he hugged her back and spun her around.

"What's all this about?" George asked as he stood up in the compartment and came to the door.

Stephanie let go of Fred and hugged George just as tightly.

"Stephanie! We thought you'd gone away!" Fred said as they all sat down.

"Well, I did. I went to a muggle school for a year and a bit before I was ready to go back to magic. I still won't use a wand."

Fred and George exchanged glances, knowing that for her to even mention the event was something they never expected.

"Well, I guess you'll be going into sixth year, then, if you missed a grade," Lee said as he entered the compartment.

"Not at all. I made it up at my other school during the summer." Stephanie smiled. "Don't think that you can get rid of me that easily."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Lee said and hugged Stephanie just as tightly as Fred and George had. "How are you?"

"Oh, well, I'm okay. I was... but I'm better now. Not perfect, but it's getting better." Stephanie smiled weakly. "What have you guys been up to? The news was all over Harry and Ron and Hermoine, but nothing about you three."

"Oh, we've been working. We've gotten pretty far, and by the end of the year, we'll be able to afford a shoppe." Fred supplied.

"That's great, you guys! Are you still planning on calling it 'Ye olde shoppe'?" Stephanie asked, gald to fel like she was in the loop again.

"Actually..." Fred and George looked at eachother.

"We were thinking of calling it something else." In a split second, she was out of the loop again and feeling like an outsider.

"Oh... I guess that's cool." They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments.

"Are you still in gryffyndor?" Fred asked.

"Yeah, I'm still there. Dumbledore said that I didn't have to be resorted unless I wanted to be." She didn't add in that she chose not to be sorted again because she was afraid. Afraid that her thoughts and cowardice of the past years would get her put into a different house. There was no more talking in the compartment until Stephanie excused herself to go use the washroom. When she came back, she paused outside the door.

They were talking, about her.

"..I don't know, she's different." Someone was saying. She couldn't tell their voices apart through the thick door.

"I just don't know what to say to her. It's so... awkward."

Stephanie sniffled, almost crying. She hated being so emotional, but there was nothing she could do to change it.

"It's weird. I kinda just wish she'd leave us alone." Alone...? They wanted her to leave them alone...? That hurt. Her eyes filled with angry tears. If that's what they wanted, then that's what they's get. She opened the door, her face to the floor.

"Oh, hey, I found another compartment with some other friends. I'll talk to you guys later, okay?" She didn't wait for their answer, she didn't even say goodbye, she just grabbed her stuff and left. If she had said anything else, she would have broken down.

"What's wrong?" Fred asked, but she had reached the door. She opened it with more force than necessary, a tear making it's way down her face to land on the floor before she stepped over the threshold and shut the sliding door behind her, grateful for the fact that the corridor was empty. All she wanted to do was lean back against the door, like in a movie, and cry. She heard the latch, and quickly raced down the hall, looking for an empty compartment. The one she did find, she raced into quickly and locked the door, a simple charm to counter anyone with the knowledge of 'Alhomora'. She shoved her trunk and things on the seat opposite before burying her face in her arms as she sat on the chair and leaned against the window.

After some time, she moved her hands and leaned her forehead against the window, looking out at the rainy countryside as it sped by her eyes. A few farms, a small town, sheep, cows, horses, she didn't notice when it stoped raining, she was only aware of the fact that there was a slight scratching at her door. She turned and noticed that the sun was shining into her compartment, and someone was now knocking quite loudly.

Stephanie stood up and walked over to the door, unlocking it carefully and opening it slightly. There was a blonde boy there, with calculating grey eyes.

"Hullo?" Stephanie asked.

"You're in my compartment, and as a prefect, I demand to know why." He replied.

She looked at the pin he wore so proudly.

"Oh, prefect? Isn't that interesting. I used to hate them. Once, I hexed one so bad that he... well, you don't care. In any case, I didn't see your name on the door, so I assumed it was free, as it was empty."

"Excuse me? I am-"

Stephanie cut him off. "In truth, I don't care who you are. All I need to know is that you are a fifth year, and I am a seventh year. Therefore, I am older and that-"

"You, are a seventh year?" He snorted. "I wouldn't have guessed, what from the stupid mudblood clothing to the crying, I would have guessed that you were a first year, afraid of their own wand."

**_SMACK_**

She pulled back her fist quickly, her eyes still shining. The feeling of knuckles hitting jaw was most comforting. She looked down at the boy, who was crumpled on the ground. He staggered up, his hand wiping away blood that trickled from his mouth. She smiled and he lunged at her, something she easily sidestepped. She then kicked him in the arse as he fell again. By now, people were coming out of their compartments to see what the ruckus was. Stephanie pushed the boy out of the compartment and slammed the door shut, locking it again.

"LET ME IN!" Someone screamed and pounded on the door. They were obviously livid. Stephanie pretended not to hear and ignored the fact that their trunks (including their Hogwarts robes) were in the compartment with her. She simply laydown and fell asleep.

When she woke up, it was to the sound of the compartment opening. She faked sleep, looking through her eyelashes to see the platinum blond walk in and grab his stuff angrily, before turning to her and scowling. He looked to be about Stephanie's sister's age... if she had been there. Stephanie pushed the thought away. She watched as he loomed over her, a smirk forming as he raised his wand.

"Rictusempra." Stephanie whispered, barely a sigh. The sound of the train covered it, and all that the grey-eyed boy knew was that he was thrown back when he was about to hex her. She feigned sleep for only a moment more before she stretched and yawned, raising on the seat so that she was leaning on one arm, the other drapped across her lap. She 'spotted' the boy and shrieked.

There was running to the door before it was thrown open and Fred and George stood, wands at the ready.

"What's wrong?" George yelled out as Fred hissed a hex at the boy, turning him green and yellow.

"I woke up and he was standing over me..." Stephanie whispered.

"But he was against the wall..." George said.

"I couldn't let him hex me or anything. I just so happened to mutter rictusempra in my sleep, it would seem..."

"But you said he was standing over you."

"Hmm... I did, didn't I?" Stephanie bit her lower lip as if actually perplexed.

Fred smiled. "Same old person, you are. The acting is great, it's just the story that needs work. Don't worry, by the end of the year, you'll be able to do it with the best of them."

Stephanie smiled back shyly, not sure if it was a compliment. "Thanks?"

"You're welcome." Fred replied. They were silent for a moment, until George cleared his throat. Stephanie and Fred turned to look at him.

"Guys, we're almost at Hogwarts, we should change now." Stephanie nodded and grabbed her uniform before heading to the toilettes to change. By the time she had returned, the boys were also dressed. They were about to say something when the train stopped and it was time to get out. The grabbed their luggage and piled out, ready to start a new school year. Stephanie saw the threstrals, but Dumbledore had warned her. She walked up to one of the 'horseless' carriges and was about to open the door when somebody beat her to it. Turning, she saw Fred, who smiled at her, opened the door, and then waited for her to get in before he clambered up.

'Such a gentleman.' She thought to herself. He was very polite, asking her about the weather, what she had been up to, that kind of thing, the whole way to the castle. When they got to the castle, he got out first and offered her his hand. She took it and jumped down, her feet landing lightly on the cobblestone courtyard before they entered the main doors and took their seats in the great hall.

As they were walking, Stephanie noticed something very odd. Fred was taller than her. Quite taller.

"When did you get so tall?" She asked before she realized it.

"When I grew up." Fred offered her with a wink. "When did you get so short?"

"He-ey! I've grown." Stephanie realized how childish it sounded once she had said it, but there was nothing she could do to take it back. They took their old seats at the Gryffindor table, and Stephanie was glad that they still sat in the same spot. They turned to Dumbledor, awaiting the opening speech.

-

A/n: K, to explain: Stephanie went to a muggle school for a year and a half after the accident, and then she went to a different wizard school (and caught up). She has finally come back for her seventh year, but she still refuses to use a wand, and instead does everything wandless (she was the top of her class for Wandless Magic).


	4. PB and J

(Insert normal disclaimer here) And the long awaited fourth chapter! Really the second chapter of the real story. Remember, read and review, or else no more updates for you!

* * *

_As they were walking, Stephanie noticed something very odd. Fred was taller than her. Quite taller._

_"When did you get so tall?" She asked before she realized it._

_"When I grew up." Fred offered her with a wink. "When did you get so short?"_

_"He-ey! I've grown." Stephanie realized how childish it sounded once she had said it, but there was nothing she could do to take it back. They took their old seats at the Gryffindor table, and Stephanie was glad that they still sat in the same spot. They turned to Dumbledore, awaiting the opening speech.

* * *

_

She had obviously forgotten how it really went, and only slightly noticed the first years coming into the great hall as she was absorbed in the looking at some toad creature next to Dumbledore. The Woman was a sitting fashion victim. Stephanie only noticed the first years when McGonagall appeared with the sorting hat.

The last time she was there she had been eagerly watching her sister, waiting for her sister to be sorted…

She turned away from the front of the great hall and took a deep breath. Why didn't pain get better with time? Her head was bowed into the table, so she missed the glance the twins shared over her head. She barely heard the Sorting Hat's song, only the far away sound of something. Some sort of song far off as if in a memory, singing to her. She snuck away quietly from the room as the first child was sorted into the Gryffindor house. She pleaded bathroom to Filch, who let her through with only a slight growl.

She didn't head to the washroom, however. She walked slowly, paying little attention to where she was going. It took her a moment to realize that she was heading to the spot where her sister was injured, and later died from the wounds received there.

Stephanie turned abruptly and wandered for a bit longer before making her way to the Gryffindor portrait of the Fat Lady. She stood beside the portrait, knowing that she wouldn't be able to get through unless someone came up with a password. She tugged at the hem of her skirt as two fifth years went in, mumbling something about plants. She followed after them and carefully made her way across the common room and onto her way to the dormitories. She didn't notice Fred and George pinning something to the wall, she was focusing on getting into bed.

Fred turned to her as she disappeared up the stairs, and ran to catch up with her. Unfortunately, she went into the room the same time that he reached the bottom of the stairs.

She found her bed just as she remembered it, the ugly curtains surrounding it and making her feel somewhat at home. She ignored the other girls and closed the curtains around her, laying on her back and thinking.

It took about an hour before she changed into her pyjmas (red and brown flannel pants and top – comfy and not too ugly) then walked from the dormitories as her stomach rumbled. She was heading towards the kitchen until she realized that she had no idea where the kitchens were. She stopped right before exiting the portrait.

"Stephanie!" She turned when she heard her name and faced Fred and George.

"Oh, hey guys. Do you know how to get to the kitchens?" Her stomach rumbled for emphasis.

"Sure. You just go down to-" George started.

"I'll take you." Fred smiled and exited the common room right before Stephanie, who had to hurry to catch up.

As they were walking through the corridors, Stephanie grabbed his hand.

"Uh…" He started to stutter a question.

"It's, ah, been a while, so I can't remember the exact location of everything. It's dark, and I don't want to trip." She explained, and walked closer to him. She had a slight smile on her lips; his hand was warm in hers, if a little sweaty.

The main thing Fred noticed was that her hands were absolutely freezing. He took her other hand as they were walking, her behind him, and held both of Stephanie's hands in his behind his back, warming them.

Stephanie giggled slightly and Fred could feel the whisper of her breath on the back of his neck, making the hair there stand on end.

They reached the picture of a pear all too soon, and Fred gently tickled the side of it. Stephanie and he snuck in quietly, raiding the fridge and taking a peanut butter and jam sandwich for the road.

They left ten minutes later, eating the crumbs and then trying to find a place to wipe the stickiness off of their hands. Stephanie turned to Fred, the glint in her eye lost in the soft moonlight that flooded the entrance hall.

She wiped her hand on his shirt, then ran off up the stairs as he sputtered slightly and took off after her.

She raced through the corridors of the second floor, laughing as she heard him chase after her. A couple of times he almost caught her before she would dash away again. They were nearing the main entrance hall when she dashed down the steps and he took a short cut down the railing. She landed a moment before him and tried to run past as he threw his arm out and caught her around the middle.

Both laughing, she struggled to get away, though he held her tight. She was squirming, almost out of his grasp a couple of times before he readjusted his grip and she was stuck again.

She gave up after a few minutes of struggling, laying limp on her back across his lap. She stretched and looked up at the ceiling, her eye lids getting heavy with sleepiness.

"Time to head back," she said somewhat reluctantly. "Otherwise, I'm going to fall asleep right here."

"I doubt that Filch would appreciate it, though he would love to get us in trouble."

Stephanie laughed lightly and pulled herself up from the floor. They trailed back to the Gryffindor common room in near silence. They muttered the password and split up at the stairs for the dormitories.

Once in her bed, Stephanie breathed a contented sigh, happier than she'd been in a long time. She closed the curtains around her bed and snuggled into the comfortable blankets, more than ready for a night's rest.


	5. The Many Uses of Herbs

The next morning brought about the familiar routine of classes and homework, no time for play. She was in many classes with Fred, George, and Lee, and a few classes without them. She was pleasantly surprised to find herself with mainly Hufflepuffs in Divination, and took that class time to settle herself and focus on 'training her inner eye'. To her, it always felt as if she was half-there, and the next bit was just on the tip of her tongue. Of course, she pondered that weekend, it probably wasn't the brightest idea to tell the professor that, as she was now stuck with extra homework.

Potions was a mess, but not because she had trouble with the teacher or the subject. Quite the opposite, in fact. She got along famously with Snape and did excellently with the subjects. The problem was the memories that haunted her in that classroom. At least once every class, she found herself leaving to use the toilet and crying in an abandoned stall.

Transfiguration was difficult, at best, though she did try. Stephanie would pick up the wand and stare at the thing to be transfigured, then try three times and no more. She first time would be rubbish, the second little better, and the third simply passable. She was not doing well in the class, nor was she excelling.

Defense against the Dark Arts was interesting, being singled out on the first day for her horrible past and having the new snot-nosed teacher tell the whole class her tale. At least now she could walk down the halls and have Slytherins verbally abuse her and her deceased sister.

History was boring, as always, Care of Magical Creatures doubly so. She had no use for either subject, and quickly lost marks in those classes. She was barely passing history and flat out failing Care.

Herbology was another failure for her. About two weeks into the school year, the teacher finally brought her aside and had a chat with her after class.

"Miss Bennett, I am truly worried about you this year. We have already had five classes, and in that time you have shown up late twice, missed one class, failed to do the three reading assignments, and failed the quiz."

Stephanie simply stood with her arms crossed, looking far from impressed.

"Miss Bennett, if you do not start to take this class seriously, you will fail."

Stephanie mumbled something.

"Pardon me?" The teacher asked.

"I don't care." Stephanie repeated quietly. "There's no use for herbs. They can't do anything when it's truly needed. What's the point?"

"What's the point? They can't do anything? Most herbs are the starting point for powerful potions and healing spells. A lot of spells have been based off of what herbs and plants can do. Have you ever heard of Gillyweed, m'dear?

"No."

"That plant allows the user to breath under water. Without that plant, we would never have been able to study under water civilizations and learn from their ancient healing techniques, nor would we have been able to re-discover our own past and our own past healing techniques. Because of that plant, and the ancient civilizations, we can now figure out the last incantation of a wand to find a murderer or counter-spell."

Stephanie shrugged. "What do I care?"

"Those plants might save your life one day, Miss Bennett, and you ought to remember that."

"But they couldn't save my sister's." She walked off, her whole demeanor cold and distant. She was spent this week, with the duties and the homework.

She was conspicuously absent from classes the next day, and Fred couldn't find her anywhere. She was missing from the great hall, where she never missed food. She was missing from classes, both Defense and Herbology. She was missing from the common room, and the great fun that was to be had there. Fred finally left the lower floor and started climbing the stairs that would take him to the astronomy tower, the tower that Stephanie used to hang out in her earlier years.

The first few steps up the tower itself showed a moonless night, the only light coming from the occasional startled candle or star that made it through the gloom.

Fred hastened his step, taking more stairs.


	6. Star Gazing

Diclaimer: I do not own HP, I wish that I did. Then I'd have read the latest book, and I'd know what happens. Unfortunatly, I have to wait for it. :Sigh: Here's to hoping it's good.

* * *

_She was conspicuously absent from classes the next day, and Fred couldn't find her anywhere. She was missing from the great hall, where she never missed food. She was missing from classes, both Defense and Herbology. She was missing from the common room, and the great fun that was to be had there. Fred finally left the lower floor and started climbing the stairs that would take him to the astronomy tower, the tower that Stephanie used to hang out in her earlier years._

_The first few steps up the tower itself showed a moonless night, the only light coming from the occasional startled candle or star that made it through the gloom._

_Fred hastened his step, taking more stairs._

When he reached the top of the stairs, he was unsurprised to find Stephanie up there, but he was surprised that she was sitting on the ledge of the wall. The Stephanie he knew was afraid of heights. She would go nowhere near them in her younger days, and the only time she was near the skies was in trees or on a broom.

"Stephanie…?" He asked, hesitantly. He didn't want to startle her.

"I'm here." She sighed, and the soft sound was carried on the light breeze.

"We missed you in classes today." He took a few tentative steps towards her. He froze, suddenly, she her body shifted slightly. She turned and looked at him, the starlight showing her eyes clearly.

"You know one of the things I missed the most about Hogwarts?" She didn't wait for an answer, merely turned back to look out at the nearly cloudless night sky. "Nights like this. Where I could just sit in the astronomy tower and watch the stars. I love it." She sighed again, and her world seemed so right in that moment that she knew, no matter what, everything would work out.

It had taken her a fair number of years to get over her sister's death. She had been to muggle and magical psychotherapists, as well as many, many hospitals. In fact, twice or thrice, she had attempted suicide. It took her a long time to let go of the guilt. She should have been there to protect her sister, she shouldn't have been trying to gain from her sister's duel. In the end, though, it had just been an unlucky mistake. She had to believe that. Her parents had welcomed her home with open hearts and tears in their eyes. They didn't blame Stephanie, they had seen far too many of their close friends, and even brothers and sisters killed in the time of Voldemort, eleven years before. They had even lost two children, twins, when they were first married. It was painful, yes, but they had each other to rely on to get through the rough patches. In that time, Stephanie had also developed a clearer understanding of who her parents were and how strong they were. She had a respect for her parents that most children didn't have until they had their own kids to take care of.

Her happy place, that's what the smartest doctor had told her. He had said that once she found it, she would find peace. It was likely, however, that she had to go back to the scene of the event to find that place. She could accept what had happened, accept her sister's passing and even be at peace with either. She could not, however, assuage the feeling of guilt until she found that one place, or moment, that made her realize that it wasn't her fault.

It seemed silly that simply gazing at the stars would give her that feeling, but here she was. They were twinkling, just like any other day, but with the few clouds skittering past the moon, and the two planets in the sky, she knew that it wasn't her fault.

Fred discreetly cleared his voice and she turned again to look at him, a slight smile playing about her lips.

"May I help you?" She asked, perfectly innocent. And in the light of the moon and the stars, she looked like virgin sacrifice sitting so close to the edge of the ledge. It seemed as if she was merely waiting for some evil monster to come and devour her, and she was alright with that.

"You weren't in class." There was a concerned edge to his voice, and he found himself stepping forwards to her, offering a hand that she took after only a moment's hesitation.

He helped her down from the wall and breathed a sigh of relief. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Stephanie answered, smiling such and innocent smile that Fred's chest tightened for a moment.

"We were worried…" She continued to simply look at him and he continued awkwardly. "I was… worried. About you." Le looked over to the left, down at the ground, the wall, then the stars. Anywhere but at her eyes.

He felt her move, and in a moment she was standing beside him, looking out on the now clear night sky. He could feel the heat of her, radiating off of her like a furnace, and rolling gently in the night air to tease his over-sensitive skin. He had always been over-sensitive when it came to her, however.

"I know how you feel. I felt… the same way."

Fred looked over at her, quickly, to try and see if she meant what he thought she meant. Stephanie remained staring at the stars. She didn't turn and look at Fred as she continued to speak.

"I liked you Fred, for a very long time." It took a moment, once the euphoria had passed, for him to realize what the past tense meant. It meant that she didn't feel that now.

"What… what about now?" Fred asked, a little breathless. He was still hyper sensitive to her presence, and had been surprised when they met on the train. After all the years, he had thought he'd be over his first big crush. He just found that when she came back, all of his feelings came back with her, just intensified. And now, standing so close to her, but not touching her, it was a twisted kind of torture that he inflicted on himself.

Then came her answer, and his heart plummeted to his feet.

"I don't know."

She had that strangely calm look on her face and she continued, aloud, trying to explain herself.

"I was so mixed up, with what happened to Amanda. I simply couldn't think past it. I know that I kept thinking about you, all of these years, and that I missed you the most. It feels good when I'm with you, like things are alright. Kind of like when I look at the night sky. There's a sense of peace that I yearn for." Only now did she turn to Fred. "I don't want to depend on you, Fred. I want us to be equals, and I know that if I were to get into a relationship right now, at this stage in my life, it would be because I wanted someone to support me. That's not fair to you, no matter what you say." She turned back to the stars. "I want to give us a real chance, and I won't rush it. I need time, but I know that's not fair of me to ask, so I won't. Do as you wish, and remember that I won't be mad, or angry, or jealous." She chuckled a little to herself. "I will be envious of the lucky girl, though. I just can't give you what you deserve."

Fred had heard everything, and slowly but surely it was making its way into his brain. It was a lot to take in, as, in his memory, Stephanie wasn't one to share her feelings with just anyone. When they were younger, she had always been just as mischievous as the others, and just as ingenious, if not more. But she had never divulged her feelings about anything other than the feeling of finishing the job.

"Stephanie… I… I don't want just anything, I want you." It was hard for him to speak about his own feelings, but since she had, he should, too.

"Fred, I-"

"I know. So I won't ask. Just know that when the day comes, I will be here for you." He smiled, even if he didn't feel like it. He just knew that she needed to see him smiling, that he was alright with it. So he smiled. He wanted to be with her now, to feel her leaning into him, depending on him… at the same time, though, he knew she was right. If they started dating, then she would become dependant on him and they would grow to hate each other. He had to agree with her, no matter how much it pained him, how deeply it hurt.

* * *

Author's note: So? What do y'all think? I know that my writing has matured, which is a good thing for everyone. Please, review and I will personally respond to all of them.

He knew she was right.


End file.
